nyagosstar: (Default)
i would have appreciated it if you would have salted the roads this morning before i had to go to work.

and so would the guy whose car i hit, i think.

i'm fine, my car's a little fucked, but i'm fine. i've been braved faced about it all day, but now that i'm home i kind of want to curl in a little ball and cry.

surprisingly, work was good for christmas eve, so there's that, i guess.
nyagosstar: (Default)
today, i want to talk about other things.

during the past year, most of my writing/reading/eating and board game playing group has left for greener pastures, or what passes for greener pastures among book people. some have gone off in an rv to drive across country, one took on job that keeps her from the area, one moved to ny to a very busy and important job--or at least that's what we like to tell her when we get her on the phone--and today, i got to say goodbye to the last one who is moving to st. louis and won't see again until december.

it's a little strange because i wasn't even an original member of the group. like so many things here i got involved because of my roommate who likes to drag me to things and make me be social. it's good because unless forced, i probably wouldn't ever be social. mild social anxiety is no joke, kids. but i did go, i did get attached and now the group is gone. it's not so much the group, but the people in the group, the people i'd spent the last five or so years getting to know.

i didn't think that i'd be as upset as i am because for the most part, i consider them my roommate's friends, but the truth is, that they're mine as well. maybe i'm not as close and maybe i don't know them as well as she does, but i don't know, i kind of just hit a wall of words.

so, tomorrow will be a post about the bleach movie and lightning bugs and happy things, but for today, it's a little emptier here.
nyagosstar: (prince john is a pouty little bitch)
i've been debate the entire ride home from work whether i actually wanted to post this or if i wanted to let it go. if i wanted to write it out in the bitching journal i keep on my hard drive and let it go at that, but since i haven't posted in days and i've got a cute icon to go with it, here we go. please move along because there is, honest to god, nothing of interest here.

mostly because i worked six days this week and while i was supposed to be done at five, yeah, my douche bag of a co-worker decided it would be cool to call out so i was there until eight. now, to be fair, he had pretty good reasons with family issues and the health of a family member and i should be a more sympathetic human being. however. i am not. these are the same health issues this family member has been having since before i started working there in october. there is a point at which, no matter how sad and hard a situation is, unless you are a friend or family member, i can't work up the energy to care anymore. co-workers, for the most part, do not fall into either one of those categories for me.

and i was actually doing pretty well, despite the fact that people were awful today--generally pissy because they have to spend the weekend with family members they hate, i suppose--and that i worked, you know about sixty fucking hours this week and about ten today. i was in a pretty decent mood until about fifteen minutes before the end of my shift when a, generally speaking, perfectly reasonable request tipped me right over the edge. yeah, okay, i'll ring up your book over the phone, yeah, i'll wrap it for you. yeah, um, okay, i guess i can write in your inscription you lazy fucking bastard and bam, off the cliff of civilized human behavior and into the great chasm of crankiness.

and then, i found out i was wrong and that there was a doctor who on tonight and i'm slightly less in my crazy tree, re: moodiness.

i also feel better having written it all down, hopefully i can stop stewing now.
nyagosstar: (Default)
usually, when i have something big sitting in my head, swirling around and around, it helps me to put it to paper, or in this case to type so that i can get it out of my head and instead have it live elsewhere.

i don't know if that technique is going to help so much.

cut for my flist who don't read my journal for my personal shit )

dude

Aug. 15th, 2007 05:40 pm
nyagosstar: (peter with feet)
the new highlander is premiering on the sci-fi channel. i can't decide if it's better than direct to dvd. my feeling is not.

i'm such a nerd but i really, really wanted a movie theater experience for this. they're crap movies, they're always crap movies, but i love them. i would have paid money to see it.

at least it's premiering on a night that i'm home.
nyagosstar: (angry ed!)
i'm glad i didn't post last night, as i was something in the negaverse at the time. you know, when everything is bad, it's always been bad and will always be bad in the future. i'm feeling a little less insanely upset this morning and i think i can talk about it without sounding like a whining crazy person.

the problem is, of course, my job. my boss is an ineffectual tool. seriously. i know it doesn't sound that bad, but we're a three manager store and two of the managers don't really do anything. so i spend most of my time running around trying to keep our heads above water and it's not working. i'm tired and frustrated and ready to jump ship. i've held off for almost a year and a half and at this point, i feel like i can count it not as quitting, but getting out for my own sanity.

the store is doing badly. all our numbers are down and all my boss can say is 'it's going to get better' but it has yet to. he has no plan, we have no cohesive vision as a store and i feel like at times i'm building sandcastles in the face of a hurricane.

there's a position open at a store not too far from me, it's the same level as mine, but a different job, i don't really like the gm, but i'm thinking that at this point, anything has got to be better than where i am, right? i know it's not entirely true, but it feels like, at this very moment, anything has got to be better than this.

i feel better having written this, as i always do, because just getting it down means that it's not circling around and around in my head.
nyagosstar: (hitsugaya sigh)
but not really because i am not now, nor have i ever been. anything other than totally pants at poetry.

i'm supposed to be working on fic. i'm supposed to have a plan. i always write fic for birthdays and holidays. i have 17 days to put together something good, something coherent and something, you know, worth reading.

the only thing i'm feeling right now is *shrug* eh.
nyagosstar: (Default)
so, it’s been ages since I’ve done a for real update, but it’s because my computer is still something of a piece of shit and I’m spending all my online time on a borrowed one, which, by the way, sucks.

I’m going to take a moment to rant about work, which is not something I find myself doing so much with this job. my last one, yeah, definitely, I hated it, and it wasn’t too fond of me, but this one, its been almost two years and I’m pretty okay with it. most days.

random whining )
nyagosstar: (Default)
yeah, so the reason i haven't been updating is that my computer is dead. dead i tell you, dead. i've done everything i can think of to make it work on my own. and now i have to ship it off to a place that can not only make go, but also get the things that i don't have saved anywhere else in the whole fucking world because i'm retarded and didn't back it up anywhere else.

so this is short, because i'm on sarah's computer and i have to go to work, but this is why there's been nothing here for the last couple days.

i hate computers.

meep

Jun. 3rd, 2005 12:17 pm
nyagosstar: (Default)
it's raining

sarah's at a cool book expo in ny and i'm here by myself

there has been neither call nor card from my parents or brother(not that he's ever called on my birthday, so no big there)

and i have to work tonight.

i'm a little meepy

in other news, i'm thinking seriously about doing a short little thing for the chain letter thingy, which sounds actually like all kinds of fun.

i've been watching gratuitous amounts of due south, god i love that show. i remembered it actually not being as good as it was, because i haven't seen some of the first and second season eps in years. but they're funny, a little with the cheese, but it's acceptable cheese. it also makes me miss the new ray, because as much as i love old ray, new ray is so cute i just want to squeeze him.

"I will beat you to death with this empty gun." who doesn't love that line?

and because i finally finished something i'd been reading--

Whales on Stilts by M T Anderson )

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December 2012

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