nyagosstar: (king roy)
So, about two weeks ago, I interviews for this job I really, really wanted.  I wanted it from the description.  I wanted it while I was in the room interviewing.  I wanted it walking out of the office and back to my car.  I wanted it so much I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment if I didn't get it.  It's easier, most times, to not want things, than to want them and be disappointed.  At least it has been in my experience.

Anyway, I was supposed to hear about a decision at the beginning of this week.  Then, of course, Hurricane Sandy came through and while PA was pretty lucky as far as damage was concerned, most places were closed Monday and Tuesday and the place I interviewed didn't open back up until Thursday.  I sweated it out all day Thursday, figuring there was probably a lot to catch up on right after missing three days, but that if I didn't hear by Friday, I didn't get it.

I tried, I really tried to distract myself Friday from thinking about it, but by about two in the afternoon, I had convinced myself it wasn't going to happen.  It was too late in the day.  I hadn't gotten it and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  I let myself want something and this is what happens. 

So, I made plans with E and a friend to go see Wreck-it Ralph(It was pretty good, btw) when I missed thier call, and they didn't leave a message.  It was about four in the afternoon and I was sure.  Who calls to offer a job at the end of the business day?  No one.  You call to tell all the people who you didn't pick, Thanks, but No Thanks.  I tried to call back and didn't get an answer.  I felt sick and my heart was pounding.  I tried again.

And again.

And then I finally got through and thought I was going to have a heart attack in the front room my heart was pounding so hard when I got the job offer.  I had to tell myself, firmly, "You cannot cry on the phone to your new boss.  You can't.  Keep it together for just a couple minutes."

So, that's my story.  I start the week after next in a job I really, really wanted and in a profession I think I could really, really see myself liking.  It'll be a first in my adult life.
nyagosstar: (helena squee)
because i got good news. we got good news. the best news possible. my dad is fine. he, in fact, does not have cancer. he has fantastically bad acid reflux that has eaten two holes in his esophagus. so, no more coffee, which is sad because he lives on it, and he has to take some pills, but you know, considering the alternative, that's the fucking best news ever.

my question is, though, how does one, as a doctor, look at something and tell a person 'hey, i think you have cancer.' to three weeks later saying 'hey, you've got acid reflux.' because i'm pretty sure that medically, they are dissimilar. i don't have a medical license, mind, but i've been told.

i'm processing the news now and trying to reconcile the total bitch i've been for the past three weeks and feeling more than a little silly about the whole thing. i mean, i know if it had gone the other way, those feeling would have been justified and i suppose they still are, but now i feel like an overly dramatic drama queen who's been hell to be around since the beginning of the month.

but all that aside, it's cool because my dad is fine.

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nyagosstar

December 2012

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