nyagosstar: (sleepy simon)
[personal profile] nyagosstar
Packing is for losers, yo.

Well, I say losers, but really it's just for movers. Regardless, it sucks, it's dusty, it's no fun. I don't know how we accumulate so much stuff, how so much stuff came with us that we didn't need when space in the car was at such a premium. I'm doing better this time around, which is nice. I'm not losing my mind, I'm not crying hysterically over nothing, all improvements.

I've been reading through some of my old journal entries trying to get a feel for what the hell I talked about here for the past seven years, trying to get a feel for getting back into a place where I can do it again.

One of the best things I've come across is my Simon tag. I mentioned he died this year, just last month, actually. He had a tumor on his face we had removed last year and the vet told us that the chance it would come back was an even 50/50. It was a year I lived in nearly constant fear, constant checking of the site. When it started to grow back, we went back to the vet who told us that this time, the tumor had embedded itself in the bone of Simon's face and there just wasn't a surgical option this time around. I got another few weeks with him, but eventually he was just sleeping all the time and then he didn't want to eat.

I know it was the humane thing to do. He was hurting and he wasn't himself. I know that. It was still hard and is still hard. It's a guilt that I don't quite know how to process or what to do with.

Anyway, this wasn't the point. The point is that I have this Simon tag in this journal where I recounted some really random, funny, sweet things about him that I'd actually forgotten. It's a sweet surprise and I'm so pleased that I took the time to record these things.
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